The Kind of Guy I Am

I am an inherently nice person. I cannot help it. I used to fight it, resent it, and yearn to be someone else altogether. However, as I've gotten older, I learned to realize that this is how I was meant to be. I'm just wired in such a way that I have qualities that kind of define me as "nice": I am patient, I am compassionate, I tend to be selfless, and I am very nurturing and caring about others.

I think part of it is genetics. My family has always exhibited the qualities that I have come to define me personally as an individual.  However, I also think that my own situation as a person living with a permanent physical disability has taught me the importance of treating people the right way, not engaging in being judgmental, and trying my best to not take advantage of or take others for granted.

Granted, I have made my fair share of mistakes and I have hurt people too. I am human after all, but I realize my errors and I try to do better and just be the kind of person that is good and someone that others might point to and say, "you know, Ray's not perfect but he sure is worth knowing."

As such, I think that part of my purpose in life is to show people how good they are and to encourage them and being there for them as a supporter and as someone who cares.  I feel blessed and lucky for my family and for all those in my own life who have loved, cared, and supported me through thick and thin.  Maybe someday, someone special will love me and I will have the happiness I have always wanted and needed.  I can only hope that that will be the case and I will have my happy ending like so many of the people I know do.

The Reason Why I Write

When people first meet me and I tell them that I write, the most common response that I get is, "wow, I didn't know that you do that."  Since I have to live with a lifelong disability, I really didn't get to be able to participate in sports (except for Special Olympics briefly in grade school) and so I sought refuge in books.  As I matured and got to high school, the brutal murder of my classmate Tanya and her younger sister Tracy provided the impetus for me to finally have the impetus for me to write poetry.

I wrote my first poem back in 1991 or 1992 and have written off and on ever since.  Currently, I have a poetry blog on here (Blogger) that I write for from time to time.  Although the pain of losing Tanya and Tracy is what motivated me to start creative writing, my own experiences and love of the written word, make it possible for me to continue with it to this day.